Feeling (and Being) Stuck
From time to time, we may find it difficult to move forward in our lives. It may be hard to envision the meaningful future that we want to create for ourselves, so we can’t see a clear path forward. It may be that we want to do one thing, and yet we can’t seem to actually do it. At times it may feel like we’re not living the life that we want, the life that is ours. In short, sometimes we may be stuck.
Almost everyone is familiar with the experience of wanting to do one thing and actually doing something else, sometimes for very long periods of time (years? decades? a lifetime?). This can lead to patterns of behavior that don't serve us very well, and a whole lot of frustration and unhappiness. Why can't we do what we think we want to do? Why do we continue to engage in behavior that we know doesn't get us what we want, even when new are quite clear about who we want?
In some cases, we may not even be sure what we want. Some people seem to have such a strong sense of who they are and where they're going, a strong feeling that their life is meaningful and important in some way, a feeling that what they do matters. Perhaps you have lost touch with that sense of meaning, direction, or purpose. Perhaps you have never felt it. In either case, you may long for a greater sense of who you really are and where you want to go.
Finally, it takes courage to abandon familiar patterns and commit to something new, even when you realize that the old patterns are not working for you anymore. There are no guarantees that new choices will result in success. Committing to a new path, and accepting responsibility for the outcome can be daunting.
Change is Inevitable
The situation we’re currently in is always a mixture of what the world brings to us and what we make of what the world brings to us. The world has a way of shifting and changing in unpredictable ways. At the same time, we’re constantly changing, from infants to adolescents to young adults and finally to older adults. With all that change, it’s not surprising that assumptions and strategies we adopted in one phase of our life in a particular time and place - strategies that were successful in that situation - may no longer serve us at a different stage of our life in a different time and place.
Getting Unstuck
So how do we get unstuck? We can work together to identify and get clear about the different and sometimes opposing impulses that drive you. We'll explore the experiences and motivations that underlie those impulses. We'll integrate and resolve the tension between different parts of your self that may be in conflict. We'll identify and experiment with new gut level choices that are more likely to get you what you really want.
If you’re unclear about what you want, we'll work together to explore the experiences, events, assumptions, and expectations that may affect your ability to imagine a future that you really want, and to accept the possibility that you could have it. We'll uncover and experiment with new gut level choices that may lead to an enhanced sense of meaning and purpose.
Whatever situation or challenges you may be facing, we'll work together to discover and develop personal resourcefulness, move out of "stuckness" and toward possibility and freedom, live more fully embodied in the world, relate more directly and authentically with others, and meet the world with a spirit of possibility and play.
Deciding to Try Something New
When what you are doing is no longer satisfying and serving you, the impulse to do something different emerges. Now you’ve got a choice: do you want to continue the patterns of the past, or do you want to make a change and try something new.
Continuing past patterns may be unsatisfying, but at least it’s familiar, and it doesn’t expose you to unfamiliar risks. Discovering and following a new path opens up the possibility of real satisfaction and growth, but exposes you to new risks - both known and unknown - and might require new levels of self-awareness and courage.
Only you can make the decision to either stay with existing patterns, or commit to finding and following a new path forward. It can be helpful to have a companion and helper in the process of making and acting on that choice.
